The Dangers of Perfectionism
Posted on: December 5th, 2016
There’s no doubt that working hard is beneficial to one’s life. Being diligent, exercising self-discipline and setting high performance standards helps us excel. However, this implies that striving for perfection should be the goal, when in fact perfectionism sets us up for profound disappointment because it’s unattainable.
Perfectionism can be particularly problematic in the way it impacts eating and body issues. The media perpetuates “perfect people with perfect lives” and this is a powerful influence. Individuals try to achieve this impossible level of perfection and inevitably fail. In the process, they develop obsessions with weight, diet, food, body image and exercise which can lead to serious eating disorders.
While each eating disorder has different symptoms, perfectionism usually has a psychological underpinning. For example, with Anorexia a person can never be thin enough. With Orthorexia individuals become fixated on finding the perfect, clean food. In her book The Golden Cage: The Enigma of Anorexia Nervosa, Hilde Bruch says that those with eating disorders demonstrate “superperfection”.
The Clinical Psychology Review has identified key signs of perfectionism. Those struggling with or recovering from eating disorders need to be aware of the following:
- Negative self-talk
- Not taking satisfaction for a job well done
- Not being authentic
- Anxiety
- Not feeling loved
- Not experiencing the present
- Judging others and yourself
- Being easily persuaded by others
- Not speaking your truth
- Not completing projects
- Feeling like a failure
“Self-talk” is at the top of the list, because establishing healthy self-talk is a major aspect of recovery. Notice the stark difference between perfectionist internal dialogue and healthy internal dialogue:
Perfectionism self-talk: I can’t do anything right. I’m such a loser. I’ll never be my goal weight. I’m ugly. No one will ever love me.
Healthy self-talk: I’m a person with limitations which makes me just like everyone else. I deserve to be loved. I deserve to be happy. I will reach my goals if I just take it one step at a time.
Self love and self acceptance are essential – once these are in place perfectionism is diminished. The power comes in realizing that all of us have limitations. We are all a beautiful mix of strengths and weaknesses.
If you’re struggling with eating and body image issues seek professional help immediately. Contact Maureen Kritzer-Lange Psychotherapy at 973-313-1691 or info@maureenkritzerlange.com.
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