Ambiguous Loss
Posted on: October 14th, 2013
With some forms of mental illness, a person is physically present in the household, but exhibits changes in personality and behavior that are vastly different from his or her behavior prior to the illness. Cognitively, it is as if the person is somehow “gone.” Family and friends are left to wonder if the person they knew will ever return, and are often uncertain how to cope with the personality and behavioral changes. They miss how the individual used to be, and experience what practitioners commonly refer to as “ambiguous loss.”
According to Pauline Boss, Ph.D., Type Two ambiguous loss is when “there is a physical presence and psychological absence”. The absence can be emotional or cognitive. Certain illnesses, such as Alzheimer’s, dementia or depression for example, can lead to such a mental absence. Similarly, conditions such as eating disorders or addiction can lead to dramatic changes in personality as the person struggles with his or her condition leaving loved ones with a sense of ambiguous loss.
People that experience ambiguous loss may never complete the grieving process that accompanies the finality of loss. As the situation persists, it prevents closure and takes an emotional toll on loved ones and friends. One of the important steps in the grieving process is the resilience that goes along with acceptance of the situation. With ambiguous loss, the grieving does not advance to a rebuilding phase of life because closure remains elusive.
With psychotherapy, it is possible to work through ambiguous loss and strengthen coping skills should a situation persist. Maureen Kritzer-Lange can help individuals or families learn to move forward, develop a sense of closure and overcome the challenges of ambiguous loss.
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