Facing Fears of Social Eating
Posted on: September 8th, 2018
Each type of eating disorder presents a unique set of psychological (as well as physical) challenges. Sufferers may experience anxiety and obsessive thoughts related to eating and body image. Some may experiences debilitating fear of certain foods, or food groups. Others may become obsessive about counting, whether counting calories, carbohydrates or minutes exercising.
Another lesser-known, but significant issue is fear surrounding the social aspects of eating. This can be a difficult psychological hurdle to clear when you consider how ingrained social eating is in our culture. Social gatherings include food more often than not. “Dinner and a movie” has become a dating norm. Most holidays don’t just include food, they include feasts. As a result, those who avoid social eating will naturally endure some level of isolation.
The reasons for avoidance is varied. It may be an attempt to hide disordered eating habits from friends and family. It could be the avoidance of scrutiny and critique or exaggerated feelings of being watched and judged while eating. All of this is anxiety provoking and can even lead to panic attacks.
The key to overcoming fear of social eating is by design a slow, methodical process. Forcing someone in the grips of this fear to attend a Thanksgiving celebration with fifty people and eat everything the host puts in front of them would be traumatic. Instead, those struggling with the issue should be slowly reintroduced to social eating experiences.
A first step could be to ask yourself, “Realistically, what’s the absolute worst thing that could happen if I were to eat in a social setting? How would I deal with it?” The answer may be that a difficult relative or nosy stranger comments on your eating in a way that’s upsetting. Then the question becomes, “How should you react?” Consider preparing a response in advance like, “I know you think that commenting on my eating is helpful, but it isn’t. Please give me some space.” Or instead, what if you took a minute and then excused yourself so you could get some air or do some breathing in the restroom to help restore a sense of calm.
Another way to reintroduce social eating is to take small steps that build toward eating in a restaurant. Start with just looking at a menu of a local restaurant online and decide on a favorite dish. If that feels okay, go to the restaurant, look around the dining area, take in the atmosphere, and then leave. If that’s tolerable your next step could be to go there with a close friend or family member and just sit with them while they eat an appetizer. With your acceptance level growing your next step might be to order a dish “to go” from the restaurant and eat it at home, and so on. Over time you’ll realize that you’re mostly okay eating with friends and family and then eventually you’ll achieve the ultimate goal of enjoying it!
If you or someone you love has an eating disorder take it seriously and seek professional help. Contact Maureen Kritzer-Lange Psychotherapy. Email: info@maureenkritzerlange.com or phone: 973-313-1691.
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